The Mock Interview with a Tea-bagger!

Sorry for my absence! It seems like the United States is going to hell in a hand basket woven by the Republican Party. At any rate; through all the non-sense, I am intrigued by the misguided energy of the tea-baggers. I would love to interview a few and I think this is how the conversation would go.

Tomtoak: Mr. Tea-bagger, could I ask you why you call yourselves the Tea Bag Party?
Mr. Tea-Bagger: Didn't you ever hear of the Boston Tea Party? We're a tax protest just like the Boston Tea Party.
Tomtoak: Mr. Tea-bagger, the Boston Tea Party was about taxation without representation. I don't see a parellel. Barack Obama won the election by 6 million votes and won in many traditional Republican states. You have representation - you lost.
Mr. Tea-bagger: So what! I want my taxes lowered.
Tomtoak: Well Mr. Tea-bagger, are you aware that President Obama has lowered taxes on 95% of the citizens as he promised during his campaign?
Mr. Tea-bagger: He's a Muslim. This country is going to hell and we're headed for financial ruin and Obama is to blame.
Tomtoak: Mr. Tea-bagger, did you forget that this country was headed for another depression unless drastic steps were taken to calm the financial markets and do you realize that the Dow Jones average has improved by almost 4,000 points since Obama took office? Do you realize that this significantly improves every one's financial situation?
Mr. Tea-bagger: Obama is like Hitler, he's leading us down the path to socialism and no good can come from him!
Tomtoak: Do you realize Mr. Tea-bagger that the rest of the world has been quite impressed with our last election and U.S. foreign policy is far stronger because of Obama's leadership. Obama even won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Mr. Tea-bagger: Ya, if that is so great, why is he getting our boys killed in Afghanistan and he hasn't done nothin yet!
Tomtoak: Mr. Tea-bagger, I admit that even liberals don't like the war, but lets be fair; President Obama promised action in Afghanistan all through the election as this country's primary target must be the al Qaeda network; and haven't you noticed that there has been far better cooperation from Pakistan in seeking to bring these terrorists to justice? Did you not read about the recent disarmament talks with Russia and the treaty that will lead to a verifiable reduction in nuclear warheads between the 2 countries?
Mr. Tea-bagger: Are you trying to insult me? I can read; you're trying to knock Sarah Palin aren't you.
Tomtoak: Me, knock Sarah Palin; no, she does not need help from me to look like a fool, she is capable of doing that all by herself and constantly, I might add.
Mr. Tea-bagger: Obama has done nothing about growing jobs in this country and we need the Republicans to straighten out this mess.
Tomtoak: You know Mr. Tea-bagger, this is one topic that truly confuses me. I've heard all of the Republican leadership say that "Government never created one job", and now, the Republicans want to focus on jobs. Why don't they just tell the private sector to go create jobs and keep the government out of it?
Mr. Tea-bagger: It's all about taxes; cut taxes and there will be plenty of jobs.
Tomtoak: Mr. Tea-bagger, are you taxed when Exxon-Mobil raises the price of a gallon of gas from $2.50 to $4.50 in a matter of weeks? You see, insurance companies and businesses that approach monopolies in this country can tax us at will. I guess that is OK with you!
Mr. Tea-bagger: And that's another thing, I don't want to pay for the health insurance of a bunch of illegals and Obama is making us all pay.
Tomtoak: You have been paying all along my friend. Health care legislation protects you against the whims of the insurance industry and outlines a process by which everyone can assume responsibility over their health care (A Republican idea I must say). It's not the solution I wanted, but progressives need to be willing to compromise.
Mr. Tea-bagger: Compromise nothin!!! Obama is not even American. We need to take back this country!!!!
Tomtoak: Take back this country from whom? From Me? I'm an American and I'm very proud of this country. When one person determined who our 43rd President would be after he lost the popular vote by 500,000 votes, I was devastated. I did not go around this country claiming that George Bush was a Nazi. I suggest that you thank God we have an intelligent leader that cares about our future and that is capable of doing more in 15 months than George Bush accomplished in his entire life.
Mr. Tea-bagger: We'll see about that! Sarah Palin will beat that n_____!
Tomtoak: Oh; and I'm sure that race has nothing to do with this. Keep the faith Barack!